This isn’t even a political science class, it’s a math class. And it pisses me off (Draymond Green reference) because it’s like too simple. It just is a class defining terms like different variables. Why does it matter if I can identify between a ratio variable and an ordinal variable?? I feel like, if anything, I should be taught how to read and understand information. I don’t know, maybe I will learn to see the class for what it is. We don’t talk about politics in here. She doesn’t apply the concepts we learn to real world activities. I can’t use my laptop in this class either, but lowkey I be on it anyways because I’ll just walk out and leave. Actually she’s talking about the State of the Union address but we’re not analyzing it or anything. If ten people answered between 1-10 how much they liked the address, how can we measure those values? Mean, median, and mode. I’m doing mean, median, and mode in my pol sci 251 class. She just said it’s easier to find the mode and median when you put the numbers in order. I wonder if everyone else feels the same. She said I have to put my laptop away, bye. I left in the middle of class because I was bored.
now im in jour 271
We have to pick a beat and he’s basically doing a draft and if I get a bad pick I’m gonna be so mad. We talked about the State of the Union for the first 20 minutes. I was the second pick im the goat everything always works out for me. I chose music, obviously. Actually, letssss fuckingggg gooo im so hype i got music. I literally work at the music factory. But I have like 800 words due Monday morning, and another thing due Friday morning. I’m going to have to lock in on my work and not just lay on the floor looking at my phone for three hours. Actually such a mood lifter bro.
now im in span 111
My Spanish class is so lit. It’s two hours, but never feels that long. The teacher is super helpful, I think he might be one of the best teachers I’ve ever had. I actually feel like I’m learning the language at least a little bit.
now im in my bed
I did my Spanish class and went to work and then went home and did nothing and did some reading and i dont really have anything else to say. but i do usually have a lot to say… just not right now. Hopefully I write more, my thoughts are too awesome to live in my head forever. thank you goat nation
“It’s in my DNA, cause my pops like to get fucked up the same way”
DNA is a song where Danny Brown blames his drug addiction on his parents, saying that they liked “to get fucked up the same way”.
My mom had me when she was 22. Her mom had died a few months prior to finding out she was pregnant with me, and when she went to the doctor she told them that she quit drinking, smoking cigarettes, and smoking pot, her mom just died, and the love of her life is in Iraq. Then the doctor said that I was going to die in her belly because of my mom’s stress levels. And they said the best thing to do was smoke a joint once a week. I remember when she told me that I was like “Bruh it’s your fault I’m addicted to the cart bruh” which is obviously not true. I could never blame her for that. And I remember thinking like damn… If moms do drugs while pregnant, that baby already has an addiction to that thing. Newborns have been shown to exhibit withdrawal symptoms of alcohol, cocaine or what have you.
One of my favorite lyrics of the song is
“I don’t smoke an eighth a day, I might end up a mental patient.”
I had my stretch of needing to smoke everyday. When that addiction starts itching you, it’s unlike anything. I used to be so upset that I didn’t have friends, but I would have to remove myself from situations where I was around people because I wanted to go smoke. It was more important to get high than to make friends. I remember there was a day where I just wanted to get high so bad and my cart had run out or something and I went to my house and was looking everywhere for one. In cushions, my mom’s desk, and I could not find one. And you really do feel like a mental patient. You feel anxious and stressed about nothing and that is what the addiction is.
I think my favorite part of this song is the production. DNA is supposed to act as the first song of “Side B” of his record and if you listen to XXX front to back, DNA sounds much different from the songs that preceded it. Danny himself said he thought the album cover was like a vinyl and he wanted to keep that vibe. The whole second half of the album is different, really. When you listen to the song, the instruments just hit heavy.
This song is very important in Danny Brown’s discography
Danny Brown is known for glamorizing drug addiction. I mean the song before DNA is called Adderall Admiral. The first verse glamorizes it. He mentions his “Versace pillowcases”, “Terry cloth bathrobe”, “white wine in flute glass”. He lives a lavish life, even saying, “Every night, like a bachelor party in Sin City.” The second verse is one of my favorite ever. He says, “Perceived as a villain, no sentiment in my sentence / For instance, in instants, they’ll be calling forensics.” He’s saying that everybody just sees him as some drug addict rapping about his drug use and they aren’t respecting him or acknowledging the talent that he has. He’s a “villain” in the rap game. Danny Brown is one of the few artists today that actually seem to be pushing themselves. But anyways, Danny is agreeing with them, admitting that he could die from it. The next four bars is, “If incidents occur, remember these ain’t just words / Go from talking shit to organs preserved / You soft-serve rappers just hide behind your reverb / And even without effects, you’ll end up dessert”. The first two lines are still about himself. He wants to be remembered for the meaning behind the words and not just the words alone. These next two lines are pretty amazing. He’s saying that other rappers in the game are scared to talk about their own struggles and are just “hiding” behind voice effects. He then goes onto to tell them that even if they didn’t have effects, they’re “dessert”. They are sweet and soft just like dessert or just like soft-serve ice cream. And this line is right after he says no one respects him for his talent. I see it Danny.
I’m not even talking about drugs I’m really only talking about weed. That’s all I’ve ever done. But it changes you and that’s what I’m going to talk about I suppose.
Why Do I Even Smoke at All if it’s so Bad and Addicting
So I have a story but I have to start a while ago. For the longest time I had the same friends and we would do the same things all the time but I loved them and I loved what we did. We would pretty much just play Xbox together but we’ve been doing it for damn near a decade. And then I started making some new friends that were a grade above me. We would go to Bdubs almost every week and just hangout. And they were a lot different than my other friends and really similar too, but I enjoyed hanging out with them; it was like a change of pace for the first time in my life. And so I kind of stopped hanging out with my first friends and that’s my fault, but… they smoked weed a lot. And I didn’t really. I did every now and then but I was really careful about it and I didn’t like the smell, and there was no way I was going to smoke and drive. So after my older friends graduated, I started hanging out with my first friends, and I also started smoking a lot more. They did it, and I guess I just hated being such an outsider from them… I don’t really know. But I got my own weed pen. And I was extremely careful with it. I would keep it hidden in my closet behind my Diary of a Wimpy Kid books, and I would only hit it late at night when my parents were sleeping, and rarely on school nights. But as time goes on, and you start hitting it a little more, you become complacent. I HATE COMPLACENCY IT IS THE WORST THING TO BE!!! I started breaking the laws I set for myself. I lost my discipline. I would hit it before tennis practice, before working the concession stand… Too much. More than I needed to. But I enjoyed it. “Why not get high real quick?” Then I started hitting it too much. I developed a cough that would hit me almost every day in first period. I woke up and I felt like shit. And I would tell myself, “Alright, no pen today because my tummy hurts,” well… I mean…. that obviously did not work.
Being Addicted to the Cart is Not Ideal
The thing with the cart is that when you first get it, it’s the best it’ll ever be. The more you do it the worse it gets, but the more you do it, the more you want it. It’s a really fucked up scenario to be honest. It tricks you. No wonder they call it the Devil’s Lettuce. But over the summer before college, I didn’t have one. I refused to buy one because they’re so terrible… but my mother had one. Now my mother is not a cart fein; she is in fact, a super lightweight. And me, being evil, would steal it at night. And I would hit and then go put it back. And previously I knew I had a problem with addiction but I really knew it, when one day the cart wasn’t there. And it was all I wanted like what the freak Mom. Anywho, so I realized I needed to quit. Then I got to school and immediately bought a cart. I would hit it before my 9AM and it would wear off by the time I got to class. And then my cart store got raided. To be honest, I’d probably still be doing it if Slackers never closed. So, shoutout the police for making Slackers close.
New, Less Evil Beginnings
So the cart store closed, and I hated it anyways, so I decided I was going to start smoking real weed by myself at school. I found a plug, and bought a pipe and I would smoke weed too often. Every day for like a month straight. And it made me lazy and antisocial. I would eat in my room, or eat outside with my headphones on… I always had my headphones on. It just wasn’t great. Smoking by myself all the time for why?? My excuse was that I wanted to get better at smoking weed, because really I had no idea what I was doing, and I really did want the experience. So I came home for Thanksgiving break, and I was smoking every day. Then, my uprise came. All the time I was smoking in my bathroom was because I didn’t have a roommate, but after break, I did. Where was I going to smoke? So I started smoking in my car, and I would get so stressed out being in my car, like I was definitely going to get caught. Then Christmas break came, and I got another cart which caused me to stop smoking weed so much; I mean I can hit the cart in my bed, I can’t smoke a blunt in my bed. Well, when school started up again, I threw away the cart, and had no weed… so it was pretty easy to get back on track.
me right now
I don’t smoke every day. I don’t even really have the desire to smoke anymore. Obviously, I do sometimes. Now it’s Sunday. And I smoked on Thursday night at like 1 AM even though I had a 9AM (evil of me) and I smoked Friday but I had been drinking and boy oh boy do I love to smoke when I’ve been drinking. The point is that I don’t smoke every day. I could’ve smoked today and I didn’t. And I like to imagine that I’ve beat the addiction. Probably not… it will probably get me again some time. But I’m very comfortable with my bad habits now.
What is the moral of the story
I don’t want this to scare anybody from smoking weed. I just wanted to share my experience and give a caution so maybe somebody doesn’t make the same mistakes I made. There’s a lot of really good parts about drugs too. Just know the situation you’re in. I would tell myself, I’m not addicted, but anyone who says weed isn’t addicting is a weirdo clown that truly needs help. Don’t start smoking for no reason like me… If you are stressed out, cool smoke. If you’ve been drinking and you just want to get lit, cool smoke. Don’t smoke because you are bored in your dorm room. Go make a friend or make a TikTok edit or something. No matter what you do stay safe. If you feel like you have a problem, you probably do, and you should reach out to someone. I mean you could even reach out to me as a former, recovering, and probably future weed addict LMAOOOOO. For real though, throw the cart away, and if you think you might smoke too much, just try and go two days without it, only to prove to yourself that you can. Good luck guys, and happy smoking.
Goat talk 